So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
