Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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