stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
