You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize