Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
