So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there was a trapeze. enough said
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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