I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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