he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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