that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
