I just made out with a guy for $7.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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