That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There r osticjed everywhere
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
