i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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