If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
whose parrot is this?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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