You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
