i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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