If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
