Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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