I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize