i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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