If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
