he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
