I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize