There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
