If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
