This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Still dying that you shit outside
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
