Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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