im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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