I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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