Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
