goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
