talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
