Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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