Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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