so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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