um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
