I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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