I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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