Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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