I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
