everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
