whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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