Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
