stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
