I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
