he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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