I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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