I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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