We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
