You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
