My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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