It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Say something about gay babies.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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