I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just want to make out with him forever
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
