Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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