we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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