i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
3 2 1 whiskey
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
