My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're too hungover to prance.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
